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Thursday 14 April 2016

Autumn-cameo

Showing our Writing Process - Write Draft / Edit and Polish / Publish
Written Language - Cameo
Learning Intention: I am learning how to use appropriate and effective similes in my cameo writing.
Success Criteria:
I am able to find and highlight similes in a cameo and explain why they work.
I am able to write appropriate similes for objects in my cameo.

Here is an example:
WINTER
Winter blows its cold breath everywhere.
The early morning frost greets you like being welcomed onto the marae.
The wind howls in the freezing air like a stray dog hungry for a bone.
Snowflakes flutter like leaves falling from autumn trees, covering the ground with a white sparkling blanket.
The trees become bare, brown bones standing like statues admiring the view.
Heavy rain falls from the sky like a thousand hooves pounding against the ground.
Chilly bitterness in the air, winter is here.


Here is my draft piece of writing!  
Autumn
Leaves slowly fall onto the soaking wet ground like a butterfly dying in midair.
The trees stand tall and proud like the statue of liberty.
The poor leaves die and start to curl up like a piece of paper rolled around a pole.
Children run and jump into the crunchy leaves like a bird who can’t fly.
Birds shot through the raw stale trees like a plane going through a hole.

Here is my published piece of writing.
Autumn
The morning breeze greets you as you walk out the front door to go to school.
Leaves slowly fall onto the soaking wet ground like a butterfly swooping down to it’s nest.
Leaves  fall off trees as you run down the grey path way. The trees stand tall and proud like  the statue of liberty.The poor leaves die and start to curl up like a red rose from a bush.

Birds  fly in to sit on the old  birch Trees.If you look closely the leaves turn red.Untitled drawing.jpg

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